Today I decided I will keep a diary. Because last week a lot of strange things happened. This will be my first try to shed some light into it. I'm trying to understand those things by putting them on paper. I don't know if I'm getting crazy or what really normal is now. But judge for yourself.
More strange things happened to me in one week than in my entire previous life. And maybe even more than in one previous life. And there that problem is. In those lives.
I will try to remember how it actually started. At first it seemed like a regular dream. Maybe too vivid dream.
That evening I went to bed as usual. Maybe I set a bit deeper sleep, but you know how easy is to overshoot. Especially when you sleepy. And I was quite bad at focusing on controls that evening. Comfortable humming of the bed make me always drowsy. As every evening that should be the end of long day. But it was not the case this time. Actually my day just started!
Birds singing woke me up. I kept my eyes shut and listened to that nice sound for a bit. But with my senses slowly coming to life I start to realized that things are not as usual. For example I was sure I did not set birds as buzzer sound. And I heard no bed humming. Very strange. And something was pressing me into my back. I'm not sleeping in my bed? I tried to focus but bed control not answered. What was happening? Some joke or what? I opened my eyes angrily and... my mouth too. Surprised. I was looking at a tree branch.
Some of you probably not even know what a tree is. I know fortunately - maybe not that fortunately, but lets not skip things too much. I love old movies. And when I say old, I mean really old. Especially romantic ones. And I really love those scenes, where he and she stand in embrace on a shore in last rays of setting sun. Or that scene where he crash opens pub door, comes to the bar near her and gives her long kiss as she bends backwards a bit. Or he flies in on bush-rope with heroic cry, she steps closer, pulls his hair aside from his sweaty forehead and long kiss follows... But where were we. Aah yeah. Tree.
(short story I wrote on the end of last century which I never continued, here with some corrections and translation to English)
Go to chapter 2
2017-02-28
2017-02-27
How I get here
I was thinking about this one for a long time already. I still don't know how real it was. But judge for yourself. I don't force you to believe in anything, but I try to write it down as best I can.
It happened during my very first group meditation I was on. My roommate at university was quite a bit more spiritual than me and he was talking about incredible things so one weekend I decided to go with him as I had nothing better to do anyway. He was attending quite large and diverse group of people all under one guru. I already forget his name but that doesn't really matter now.
Theme of this particular meetup was 'Your past lives'. We were talking about stuff, then drank some herbal tea guru prepared and then laid down on some ground sheets and sleeping bags (everyone brought his/her own), started relaxing and listening to gurus voice. He was telling us what we should try to imagine. I don't remember it fully, because it took considerable time and it is already quite a few years ago (it was last century!), but here is short version of the first part:
Close your eyes, relax. You are on a sunny meadow. You feel sun shining at your skin, wind blowing gently and playing with your hair. You can feel grass touching your legs. You are slowly going down the hill towards the edge of forest. You feel your legs moving through grass. You hear spring nearby. You feel perfectly safe and in great mood. Birds are singing, trees are swaying in gentle breeze. As you slowly approach the edge of forest, you see spring flowing in front of you and a small bridge across it. You step on the bridge, take hold of railing and look down at your legs. Your legs slowly start to change. Now you can select legs that you like. When you are happy with your selection, you continue onward. As you slowly cross the bridge you descend deeper to your past life...
It continued for some time so we can observe that particular life and get some anchor to it. Anchor is some specific picture or feeling you can focus on to get more easily to more pictures or feelings from that life.
We went this way quite a few times during that weekend. I saw quite a few bodies, quite a few pictures and feelings but I want to talk here about one particular that was more different than the others. When I looked at my legs that time I wanted to go really far to the past. And what I saw quite surprised me. Those legs were not legs of a man, but of some insect! I said to myself that this will be interesting and continued down this twisted path.
I saw quite a lot of images, some more vivid and interesting than others but what I get from it was that served as some kind of inter-stellar explorer. I was flying in some form of a ship that was only a bit larger than my body - cross between grasshopper and praying mantis. I had 1 pairs of legs and 2 pairs of arms. Legs were used to control that ship. Large circular "feet" were forcefully pressed against some form of controls. The more I pressed the faster that ship flies. I could change direction of flight by pressing in different directions. Arms were used only to hold me in place in that ship.
As I get it I was quite praised among my kin. I was even given very rare honor. I was allowed to hunt and kill some form of ritual animal.
My last journey went to some unknown planet, 3rd from some backwater sun somewhere far behind the edge of our colonized space. I was bold, daring and went further than anyone before me. But I failed. I crashed. Crashed hard. Without any means to return home.
And even my souls is now trapped here. Forever?
It happened during my very first group meditation I was on. My roommate at university was quite a bit more spiritual than me and he was talking about incredible things so one weekend I decided to go with him as I had nothing better to do anyway. He was attending quite large and diverse group of people all under one guru. I already forget his name but that doesn't really matter now.
Theme of this particular meetup was 'Your past lives'. We were talking about stuff, then drank some herbal tea guru prepared and then laid down on some ground sheets and sleeping bags (everyone brought his/her own), started relaxing and listening to gurus voice. He was telling us what we should try to imagine. I don't remember it fully, because it took considerable time and it is already quite a few years ago (it was last century!), but here is short version of the first part:
Close your eyes, relax. You are on a sunny meadow. You feel sun shining at your skin, wind blowing gently and playing with your hair. You can feel grass touching your legs. You are slowly going down the hill towards the edge of forest. You feel your legs moving through grass. You hear spring nearby. You feel perfectly safe and in great mood. Birds are singing, trees are swaying in gentle breeze. As you slowly approach the edge of forest, you see spring flowing in front of you and a small bridge across it. You step on the bridge, take hold of railing and look down at your legs. Your legs slowly start to change. Now you can select legs that you like. When you are happy with your selection, you continue onward. As you slowly cross the bridge you descend deeper to your past life...
It continued for some time so we can observe that particular life and get some anchor to it. Anchor is some specific picture or feeling you can focus on to get more easily to more pictures or feelings from that life.
We went this way quite a few times during that weekend. I saw quite a few bodies, quite a few pictures and feelings but I want to talk here about one particular that was more different than the others. When I looked at my legs that time I wanted to go really far to the past. And what I saw quite surprised me. Those legs were not legs of a man, but of some insect! I said to myself that this will be interesting and continued down this twisted path.
I saw quite a lot of images, some more vivid and interesting than others but what I get from it was that served as some kind of inter-stellar explorer. I was flying in some form of a ship that was only a bit larger than my body - cross between grasshopper and praying mantis. I had 1 pairs of legs and 2 pairs of arms. Legs were used to control that ship. Large circular "feet" were forcefully pressed against some form of controls. The more I pressed the faster that ship flies. I could change direction of flight by pressing in different directions. Arms were used only to hold me in place in that ship.
As I get it I was quite praised among my kin. I was even given very rare honor. I was allowed to hunt and kill some form of ritual animal.
My last journey went to some unknown planet, 3rd from some backwater sun somewhere far behind the edge of our colonized space. I was bold, daring and went further than anyone before me. But I failed. I crashed. Crashed hard. Without any means to return home.
And even my souls is now trapped here. Forever?
2017-02-26
Intro
I recently wrote this post about what can you expect in this blog.
Hello world!
That was easy. I would say easier than expected. They say its really easy to write your own blog. But it is? We will see. But we (or I) wont see if I never start. So here we go...
I can't say I hate my life. But sometimes it gets quite near it. And its near it for quite some time. So, if you don't love your life, lets change it! Easier said than done. But hey, I just started. Lets say this is first day of my new life. Will it be better than my previous? I hope. And hope is all I have now. If I don't start changing it now, I will probably never start.
I have already experienced quite a lot in my life. Seen things with my eyes and maybe even more interesting things with my dreams / imaginations / inner eye - you name it. Was it all real? You bet it was... not :) But what is real anyway. Sometimes I want *it* to be more real than reality itself. And as my life getting longer and my memory worse, I decided to put it all down for everyone to see, read, talk about. Maybe even my own kids will find it one day and maybe they will understand me more after reading this.
I love my kids. But my path to this sentence was long. Maybe longer than my wife wanted. But yeah, I can finally say I love them. And my feeling towards them and towards her is getting stronger now. But I will get to that in some of my next blogs. Maybe.
So I decided to start writing. Last time I did that, it was long ago, on university. I wrote a few articles for small internal magazine of one student organisation I was in at that time. I wrote about different things. Once it was about how our regional meeting was great, next time it was some short story I imagined after reading some latin spell. Then it was series of increasingly interesting stories (at least that was my feeling from it) about my view of god and my hate to church dressed as an art sci-fi story. I was really surprised that it was chosen by some university people to be included in that years Students Almanach. My biggest "award" to date. Better than most ;)
But lets hope next blog will be more interesting. I will start by writing about my most unreal thing I experienced to date. It will be about me (whatever this may be) getting here (wherever that may be).
So see you next time!
Hello world!
That was easy. I would say easier than expected. They say its really easy to write your own blog. But it is? We will see. But we (or I) wont see if I never start. So here we go...
I can't say I hate my life. But sometimes it gets quite near it. And its near it for quite some time. So, if you don't love your life, lets change it! Easier said than done. But hey, I just started. Lets say this is first day of my new life. Will it be better than my previous? I hope. And hope is all I have now. If I don't start changing it now, I will probably never start.
I have already experienced quite a lot in my life. Seen things with my eyes and maybe even more interesting things with my dreams / imaginations / inner eye - you name it. Was it all real? You bet it was... not :) But what is real anyway. Sometimes I want *it* to be more real than reality itself. And as my life getting longer and my memory worse, I decided to put it all down for everyone to see, read, talk about. Maybe even my own kids will find it one day and maybe they will understand me more after reading this.
I love my kids. But my path to this sentence was long. Maybe longer than my wife wanted. But yeah, I can finally say I love them. And my feeling towards them and towards her is getting stronger now. But I will get to that in some of my next blogs. Maybe.
So I decided to start writing. Last time I did that, it was long ago, on university. I wrote a few articles for small internal magazine of one student organisation I was in at that time. I wrote about different things. Once it was about how our regional meeting was great, next time it was some short story I imagined after reading some latin spell. Then it was series of increasingly interesting stories (at least that was my feeling from it) about my view of god and my hate to church dressed as an art sci-fi story. I was really surprised that it was chosen by some university people to be included in that years Students Almanach. My biggest "award" to date. Better than most ;)
But lets hope next blog will be more interesting. I will start by writing about my most unreal thing I experienced to date. It will be about me (whatever this may be) getting here (wherever that may be).
So see you next time!
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